Holiness

Ten minutes of teaching, ten minutes of practice over a week or so is not a lot of time. But many of us learned to swim or to ride a bicycle in that time. Well, we learned enough to strike out on our own and keep going and get better. We had places to go, to explore. We wanted to be certified for the deep end. I think that’s still true when it comes to life, interior life and just plain life, we want to go farther and deeper.

So where are we going, what are we exploring? Pema Chodron, whose book, When Things Fall Apart is kind of my mindfulness meditation bible, reminds us that we don’t meditate to become better at meditation, but we meditate to become better at living. It may not seem obvious at first, but what she says correlates with the idea of holiness, which has become a terribly churchy word tending to mean, behaving ourselves so God won’t get mad at us, or living in this world in a pure kind of way so we don’t get our Sunday clothes dirty. But the heart of holiness has more to do with availability than purity. God speaks at night to the young Samuel who doesn’t recognize his voice. And his mentor Eli says, It’s God calling you, Samuel. And the next time you hear God, say, Keep talking; I’m listening. Isaiah hears God asking, Whom shall I send? And Isaiah says, Here I am, Lord, send me. That’s what holiness is, being available to the voice and purpose of God

It’s a simple idea—and reality—and it’s an endlessly rich, wonderful, scary, empowering way to live. First, there’s the hearing part. Lots of voices in the world and in our own heads. How do we recognize God’s voice, that place in us where Deep calls to Deep? Second, there’s the availability part. Somehow in the world as it is, God’s purposes are always unfolding. Our receptivity, our availability is part of that.

We don’t meditate to become better at meditating but to become better at life. We don’t work with holiness so God will think better of us or love us more. God already loves and accepts us more than we’ll ever fathom. Holiness is the adventure of discovering that God’s purposes and our deepest purposes always connect.

In sitting still, letting what arises arise, paying attention to what does arise, neither repressing nor indulging, sitting with honesty and compassion we learn a lot about voices from the shallow end and the deep end of the pool, we learn a lot about our own desires and resistances, we learn a lot about the nature and gifts of God which reside in us and coexist and overlap with us and ache to unfold into the world.

We also see what a muddle it all can seem much of the time. How often we just splash around in the shallow end—even as we’re also aware of our desire to go farther and deeper. Have any of us have NOT been frustrated by the disparity between the desire for deeper life and the too common experience of superficial life? Seeing this, being gently honest about it, is basic to mindfulness. And most of us in one way or another have been mindful of this tension (though maybe not gently mindful) a million times. This disparity can be painful; it can feel harsh. So, right here as we’re thinking about it, it’s a good time to remember how important compassion is, a truckload of compassion for ourselves, our convoluted, precious-to-God selves. Those very selves parts of which can long for meaning, get stuck in superficialities, and be a real nag about the whole thing. In practicing, there’s a place for all that, in the breathing in and the breathing out we can see our hopes and our stuckness and our frustration with ourselves again and again, all of it, and we can remember that compassion is as essential as honesty, and we can embrace our scarred and weary hearts. This is the same thing as remembering to effectively remember the tender mercies of God. To remember what the bible says: “You humans--as dysfunctional as you are—know how to love your kids. Imagine how complete God’s love is for you.” It gets to be a habit—being persistently honest and thoroughly compassionate.

This is why meditation has to do with holiness, why it affects the way we live our lives. We’re getting in the habit of being honest with ourselves; we’re getting used to getting closer to some of the troubling stuff honesty brings to light. At the same time we’re also experiencing the deep springs of lovingkindness that well up in us like living water. And all the while we’re getting into the habit of noticing the overlap between our deepest purposes and God’s.

Beginning at the three chimes and the singing bowl, sit comfortably with healthy posture, breathe normally, giving about 25% of your attention to the outbreath, letting whatever arises arise. Be observant, neither repressing nor indulging what comes to mind. When you find yourself thinking about something, with each outbreath simply and gently let it go by saying inwardly, ‘Thinking.’ Keep breathing, return again and again to being mindful with honesty and compassion.

At the end of ten minutes, you’ll hear again the three chimes, and the singing bowl will sing again, and I will close with a prayer.